Beberapa hari lalu ketemu sebuah link di pinterest yang membahas tentang bagaimana caranya move on setelah diputusin secara sepihak. Karena artikelnya bagus, akan saya bagi aja di sini. Sengaja posting-nya pas malam minggu, siapa tahu ada yang galau karena baru menjomblo atau sedang patah hati, jadi kan bisa sekalian buat obat penawar galau. Tsaahh… *kemudian ditimpuk para jomblowan-jomblowati sedunia* :D
Sumber dari sini
When a relationship ends and one party doesn’t want it to be over it hurts. A lot. There are few situations that are more challenging to a woman’s self esteem than the one you are in, and I am sure you have spent more than your fair share of time wondering why it had to end, or even worse- what it was about you that may not have been “enough”. Yes, just as you said, this is a really rough place to be in.
The problem is, it seems as if the pain is not going away. It continues to hurt, continues to be in your thoughts, and continues to affect you. Not to be hard on you, but this is happening because you are allowing it to. Stop talking to him. Immediately. He is perpetuating this and you are letting him in to do it.
Now, I realize that this is easier said than done. But, I feel that you are being challenged to learn how to empower yourself as a woman. And to trust that the universe has a greater design for your life and a plan for your future. When you are clinging to a relationship that is being stripped away, you aren’t working with the flow of your own existence. You are swimming upstream, struggling and not letting the current carry you. Let go! This relationship does not serve you, at least not right now. How do I know this? Because it has ended.
Now, this is not to say that someday this man will be running after you, begging for you to take him back. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen a woman shift her energy away from a man and move on, only to have him chasing after her when before he acted as if he could care less. Hey, life is a long journey and you never know. But, this will not happen while you are holding this space for him. Focus on yourself, not him. Imagine two magnets, when one leans into the other, it causes the second magnet to pull away. This is what you are doing, you are leaning into him. And, on an energetic level, you are blocking new things from coming into your life. Where you are now, and still talking to a guy you are mooning over, you cannot bring a new relationship that does serve you into your life.
The ending of a relationship is like experiencing a death, which means you must grieve. You must do this work, to sit with the pain and work through it. Think of the 5 Stages of Grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Right now you are stuck in the first four and you absolutely cannot move into acceptance until you walk away from this man for good.
My advice is to stop all communication with him. If he reaches out to you, explain to him that you need to move on and would appreciate him respecting that and not talk to you. Do the healing work behind this, find yourself again, and step into being a more empowered, wise woman for having had the experience of this relationship. And then, your next relationship (whether with this guy or a completely new one) will reflect this new level of healing.
Rip off the band-aid. You will be so glad you did.
Yah, kalau kata orang tua mah, time heals. Jangan dipaksain. Kalau memang sakit, ya memang harus gitu jalannya. Jangan maksain musti sembuh sekarang. Atau malah sengaja cari rebound buat ngelupain yang lama. Jangan, yah. *puk puk*
Jadi inget kata si @nisankubur soal move on ini.
“Move on itu kayak nanem jagung. Mana ada orang nanya, “Gimana caranya jagung gue panen dalam seminggu?” – @nisankubur